"When was the first time you knew how to make love? Who told you about it? Your parents? Your friends? Your teacher? And what was sex in your understanding before you discovered the true meaning of it? And even before you knew the word sex is existed, how do you imagine on how your parents deliver you to the unlimited world? How how how?"
So, I'll answer every each one of the questions base on my own experiences directly, straight to the point, in a way not to make it too dull and draggy.
The first question is,
How did I respond when I just hit puberty? How did I respond when I've found out that I'm gonna be a grown-up lady instead of an immature and childish little girl. After I've found out that I finally hit my puberty, I called a friend of mine who has already been through it to ask about how to handle this and that. I even asked some sanitary pad from her instead of asking from my maid or anyone else in the house to buy for me (in case you forgot, I stayed with my Atuk and Uwan during my primary school, and KakLong was staying at the hostel. All in all, I was the only one who got period by the time). The funny part of that, I didn't tell my mom about the most important thing that happened in my life. Why? Because I felt so embarrassed. I think that was too fast. Too fast for me to leave the enjoyment as a childhood girl. And to face the life as a grown up lady, to accept the fact that people would start labeling me as "A lady" instead of "A girl". To learn about the more serious thing that might happen, the feelings and emotions. On how to handle them. To educate myself about the primary and secondary sexual characteristics in depth.
How did my mom find out about my transition period from her little girl to a pre-adult female? My younger sister told her on the telephone and only God knows how she knew about that situation. How funny when your childhood reminds of your childishness, I mean very childish, as in so immature to compare than who you are now. Then after few years after that, I always wanted to look like a matured lady, to always look way more mature than my other peers. Then I insisted on only going out or having affair with guys who are older than me. It's like my very own principal if I wanted to respond a guy's "Hi". I used to believe that guys at the same age are usually immature, you know, tak matang and insensitive. But I was wrong. By was the first guy in my life (same age) who bravely confessed about his feeling towards me, maturely and sensitively. The first thing that he mentioned why he found me so affectionate in his very own eyes, is because of my loyalty. Eventhough my heart was so reluctant to accept him as a part of my another half, but his confession captivated my mind from letting him goes that easily. Loyalty! Which means, he's expecting a girl to be loyal to him. There's nothing else matter then. I don't have to set loyalty as a part of a silly and a breakable promises or to be polite a relationship rule between a couple. Whatever it is, Allah knows best. If he's the one for me, then he is. If he's not, I believe that this is somewhat a very wonderful and amazing stage of my love life that He gave. Alhamdulillah.
See. Draggy lagi.
Second question,
"When was the first time I knew about sex intercourse? Who told me?"
I knew the main, or the basic thing about making love, to be specific is sex intercourse when I was at the age of 12 or 13. I don't know whether it's too late or too early to you but I consider that as a normal stage for a girl to know about all this thing. But my cousin, the one who explained and clarified the ways of making love was shocked herself after I innocently said "I don't know how it works". Well we accidentally went to the conversation because we saw the word "masturbation" on a magazine. Which by the time I also didn't know what masturbation is. Haha. Say I'm a decent girl.
Third question,
How did I respond after my cousin told me about this sex intercourse thing?
I said, "Really? Wouldn't it be hurt?" or "Betul ke? Tak sakit ke?" with a wrinkled forehead.
Fourth question,
What was sex in my understanding before I discovered the true meaning of it?
Simple, I thought sex is just kissing and hugging. Never thought of rubbing the boobs and everything. Once Ilearnt about the real sex thing, I was like, "How uncivilized is that?" Again, how decent was I back then.
Fifth question,
How did I imagine on how my parents deliver me to the world? How my mother got pregnant?
Again, with my childish thought, I thought by sleeping together in bed a woman can get pregnant. But I still remember some of the times in my childhood memory box, I wonder. If true a mom can get pregnant by just sleeping with dad, then why didn't I get pregnant when I sleep beside my guy cousin.
How did my mom find out about my transition period from her little girl to a pre-adult female? My younger sister told her on the telephone and only God knows how she knew about that situation. How funny when your childhood reminds of your childishness, I mean very childish, as in so immature to compare than who you are now. Then after few years after that, I always wanted to look like a matured lady, to always look way more mature than my other peers. Then I insisted on only going out or having affair with guys who are older than me. It's like my very own principal if I wanted to respond a guy's "Hi". I used to believe that guys at the same age are usually immature, you know, tak matang and insensitive. But I was wrong. By was the first guy in my life (same age) who bravely confessed about his feeling towards me, maturely and sensitively. The first thing that he mentioned why he found me so affectionate in his very own eyes, is because of my loyalty. Eventhough my heart was so reluctant to accept him as a part of my another half, but his confession captivated my mind from letting him goes that easily. Loyalty! Which means, he's expecting a girl to be loyal to him. There's nothing else matter then. I don't have to set loyalty as a part of a silly and a breakable promises or to be polite a relationship rule between a couple. Whatever it is, Allah knows best. If he's the one for me, then he is. If he's not, I believe that this is somewhat a very wonderful and amazing stage of my love life that He gave. Alhamdulillah.
See. Draggy lagi.
Second question,
"When was the first time I knew about sex intercourse? Who told me?"
I knew the main, or the basic thing about making love, to be specific is sex intercourse when I was at the age of 12 or 13. I don't know whether it's too late or too early to you but I consider that as a normal stage for a girl to know about all this thing. But my cousin, the one who explained and clarified the ways of making love was shocked herself after I innocently said "I don't know how it works". Well we accidentally went to the conversation because we saw the word "masturbation" on a magazine. Which by the time I also didn't know what masturbation is. Haha. Say I'm a decent girl.
Third question,
How did I respond after my cousin told me about this sex intercourse thing?
I said, "Really? Wouldn't it be hurt?" or "Betul ke? Tak sakit ke?" with a wrinkled forehead.
Fourth question,
What was sex in my understanding before I discovered the true meaning of it?
Simple, I thought sex is just kissing and hugging. Never thought of rubbing the boobs and everything. Once I
Fifth question,
How did I imagine on how my parents deliver me to the world? How my mother got pregnant?
Again, with my childish thought, I thought by sleeping together in bed a woman can get pregnant. But I still remember some of the times in my childhood memory box, I wonder. If true a mom can get pregnant by just sleeping with dad, then why didn't I get pregnant when I sleep beside my guy cousin.
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