I wish but I know

I feel empty.

I wish I can get rid of this.

I wish I can be someone else.

I wish I surrounded with other people.

I wish I have the good abilities that some people have.

I wish I'm blind, thus I can't see the negative sides of me.

Yea I'm totally blind, so thats why I'm afraid of changing myself.

I wish I can change myself. 

I wish I can deal things maturely, coolly, calmly, and with "brain".

I wish I can be myself, but only the adorable side of me.

I wish I couldn't let people to see my weaknesses. But my capabilities, success, and strategy of handling problems indeed.

I wish I wouldn't be able to complain about everything, but just look forward and follow the flow.

I wish I'm not muttering about myself in my blog, right now.

I feel bad.

I don't know how pretty my life is.

But I think its pretty beautiful to me.

I don't know why am I so weak of facing failures, and troubles.

But I know how much effort I put on it.

I don't know how much tears have I released.

But I know how painful the caused would be.

I don't how much someone could adore me.
But I know who deserved the best.
Whether me, or them

I don't know what's the best thing that, my family, him, my friends and people around me could see in me.
But I know the only thing that best about me, is only me. Me myself and I.

That would be the secret between me, and Him.

I don't know where would I stand in the future.

That's the only thing that I don't know.

Its only Him who knows.

What I need to do, go forward, don't look back!

Don't neglect the only Him, the one who assigned me to be here, to continue my way until the the end of my life. Hereafter.